Spring Break

Time to replace emo post with yet another emo post?

DON'T WORRY I don't have time to write a long emo post :P Coz I have to do readings for tomorrow's classes. Will I have neough time to do those? >.< Whatever I wanted to record my spring break down before I lose the passion :P

Just wanted to tell you guys a little about my spring break this year. I went to Colorado with my housemate Rung and her mat-sci buddies, ie Alvin (Singaporean; was one of my housemates last summer), Anthony (met him few times before but not close; oh his dad was from Malaysia. Oh should I mention that Alvin's mum is Malaysian too? Lol), Aaron (from Colorado; met him even fewer times than Anthony); Anthony's mum, and Ian and Albert (Aaron's friends, never met them before).

So Saturday Rung, Alvin, Anthony, and I flew into Denver Intl Airport, rented a car, and Anthony's mum drove us up into the Rocky Mountains, to Winter Park (name of ski resort). We bought food supplies for 3-5 days on the way and checked into a hotel called Mountain Lodge, the four of us. Anthony's mum (we called her Aunty Ming - yes the 'Aunty' was my idea :P) stayed in another place called Beaver Lodge.

Sunday - 1st Day of Skiing
Although I skiied for a day in Wisconsin last year (it was tremendous fun! though i only managed to master the straight slopes :P), I didn't quite know how to turn yet. Also Rung has never skiied before, so both of us took the beginner lessons. Alvin is quite the pro at snowboarding, and Anthony at skiing, and Aunty Ming is intermediate level at skiing; though Anthony tried snowboarding the first day. Anyway our ski lessons were with a cute old instructor with beard called Peter, and there were about 9 members in the group, from teens to parents. Learnt the basics of basics (how to walk and how to stop!) - I got pretty bored by lunchtime coz I sudah pro with magic carpet (just an elevator to take you up the straight slope) straight slopes :P But not quite so good once we got to turning ^^;; After lunch we were taken up to the upper slopes- Discovery Park - to learn and practice turning. And then finally went down Turnpike, a curvy, easy slope - I fell 3 times on the way trying to turn and panicking at the sight of the cliff edge =.=" After that Rung and I went up the lift (the chair lift without safety bar =P) to Discovery Park, practiced, and came down Turnpike; with Alvin and Anthony :) The lifts closed at 4pm, so after skiing we headed back to the hotel, ate chicken stored in aluminum foil trays/plastic boxes + ice cubes in plastic bags + in the bathtub (^^;;;), went for jacuzzi =D (chatted with family from Colorado in the hot tub), shower, watch tv, tidur.......

I'm usually a really good sleeper (can fall asleep easily and sleep through noise), but during the trip I had trouble going back to sleep when I woke up in the middle of the night. Perhaps it's because my housemate tends to shift around a little too often =P Well so I woke up way before the alarm went off on Monday...

(TBC, folks!)

SURVIVE

prayer request:
for my mother. discovered growth in uterus. doing biopsy on thursday to check whether benign/malignant.
for my dad.

survived my busy last day of class of winter quarter Monday. i actually missed church for the first time in my academic career due to schoolwork. it was unplanned. i usually go to mass at 5pm or 9pm. but yesterday i had gsw from 12-2pm,2-4pm, then my group project meeting (presentation today) from 4pm. Did not expect it to go until 12midnight. And i only realized today that i actually missed mass. o.o"

Ash wed is this wednesday.

don't feel like doing any work, though i do have alot of work to catch up on.

- orgo lab report (due Wed)
- orgo ch18 questions
- orgo ch19
- orgo ch20
- orgo ch21
- orgo practice final
orgo final exam (next Wed)
*aside: my heart breaks when i realize that i won't be listening to Trzupek (orgo prof) lecture for almost everyday of the week starting next quarter. T.T can't believe how sad i am...yet i still tak sanggup take the 3rd quarter of orgo coz i hate lab (in short). Sigh.....

- bio - everything since 2nd midterm. I lost count of what i have to study. @_@
- need to get substantial bit of studying done by Thursday night, coz Friday review session.
bio final exam (next Thu)

- epc390 interface btw behavioral theory and conservation paper (due next Monday)

At least the stupid northern spotted owl is out of the way! i clearly spent way too much time on that owl!!! grrr!

Good thing: I'm going to have my first private lesson with my neighbour tomorrow! yay!

gts (go to sleep)

I think it makes me mad when...

___ frets over ______ which makes it seem like ___ is sacrificing/taking on so much but then it's something that xx doesn't have to do nor worry unneccessarily about.... and especially if it can be taken as suggesting that I'm not doing my share (not that ___ ever had that intention, but just that it can be extrapolated).

I end up yelling.

I think it makes me mad when...

people repeat things that I said to them...back to me! with no credit to me. plagiarism! 

people frets/complains over something REPEATEDLY that is not that consequential in my opinion, and especially if that something can be referenced to something I am not doing right. (the REPEATEDLY drives me nuts)

These are just some examples. 

I have a tendency to lose my temper at these moments. Do I understand why am I so bothered by these little things? I am generally calm and mild-tempered, but I am really short-tempered in certain situations. I think it depends more on the type of personality I'm facing than my own temperament or the situation. The type of personality I'm talking about? In a good way, it's honesty. In a poorer light, it's inflexible beliefs/thinking. 

Where's the balance between being considerate and being honest? I choose not to be honest more often because i'm afraid to tell the truth and afraid of being judged and its repercussions. 

i feel that i can be affected easily by other people's moods/unhappy experiences sometimes........ i take on some emotional baggage. i'm glad if it lightens their load, and i'm totally willing to share their load, just that sometimes it affects me negatively. Like now. I'm unloading my baggage on my blog.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm really worried really worried about my EPC 390 group project paper. It's the first time i'm the lagging/lazy member of the group. WHY can't I just write my part? WHY is it  taking me so long?

If I can't get this done, when am I going to get to study Orgo? WTH?!!!! I have 2 full chapters and 2 partial chapters I haven't covered!!! And I have done absolutely nothing for orgo lab final! What should I do T______________T

I find myself swearing more nowadays. I usually only do it when I'm alone. But the other day when i was extremely stressed/bad mood, half a swear word got out of my mouth (but i closed my mouth with my hand in time) because I was yelling at somebody over some small thing that aggravated me.

Argh.....................if only I can finish my NSO paper before dawn. That'll make things much much better. 

=(

Why then don't you just do it? Just do it! Just do it! Just do it! Don't sleep before you complete what you have set out to do.

Anime Karaoke Night!

shukufuku no toki wa kuru te wo nobashite  te wo nobashite ryoute agete!!

~Sakura Saku, Love Hina OP

Just so impressed/impacted/kangeki by what happened that I just had to blog about it.

Yeah- i was at Northwestern's Anime Club anime karaoke night just now! When they sent out an email asking about interest in anime karaoke night I went "Yes! This is what I've been waiting for!" Even though it's not real karaoke, just play videos on youtube and sing along with microphones in a lecture hall in Tech from 8+pm-11pm. IT WAS SO FUN~~~~!!!!! Noeru Mei Qi we can totally do anime karaoke this way ^O^

I sang: Bouken Desho Desho (Suzumiya Haruhi OP1) with a guy and a girl, Let Me Be With You (Chobits OP) with a girl- not a very good choice, so don't sing this at karaokes! , Doraemon OP with Ken (Alicia's Mat Sci Buddy), Sakura Saku (Love Hina OP), and Be For You Be For Me (Love Hina OVA ED) with a guy (his name is John if I'm not mistaken).

Other songs that I sang along with: Pokemon North American OP, Cruel Angel Thesis (Evangelion OP), Fly Me to The Moon (an oldie, as well as Evangelion ED), Bleach OP2 =)

and of course, the FINALE song - I'll Make A MAN out of You (from Mulan, which technically is not anime but it's a song that everybody (at least in USA) knows) 

I didn't know a lot of the songs but they were pretty nice! 

 

And why was I so impressed?

Well, usually no one ever talks to me in anime club (i don't really talk to anyone either, besides ppl whom I already know, like Rebecca or Ken). I also don't go very often. 

But today, people seemed to like my singing (esp Sakura Saku haha) OvO and 3-4 ppl approached me after the event and said that I have a good voice and such! I was quite flattered ///// One guy, he's in a doujin group asked if I was interested in voice acting? Another guy told me that my voice was very similar (to the singers i suppose) in japanese at high speed-   he had to repeat about 3 times before i could catch what he said...^^;; He also asked how long I've been learning Japanese (or something along those lines) and I said I never taken any classes, just learnt from watching lots of anime and singing songs (yeah i actually answered in broken japanese). I am quite flattered..........let me be on a high for a while........^^;;

But seriously I can't sing as well as I'd like (yes I failed my auditions for Treblemakers and Harmony in Spirit; and I never got beyond 5? songs on 163888 because my recordings sucked). I know that my main weakness is breath support...Proof: I have trouble sustaining notes sometimes, I can't sing with full power and tone at high notes, my voice tends to break, etc. But I just (last month, by a stroke of fate) found out that my neighbour (yes my actual neighbour who stays across from my apartment unit) actually teaches voice and piano lessons! My mum says I should take lessons, since she is so near. I'm planning to do so too (not too many, coz lessons are expensive! O_O)...once my busy period in school is over. And then hopefully I can fix my breathing problem and sing better =) 

Oh one thing i've gotten better at is singing in front of people - I think I'm more daring to sing in front of people now...like friends (thanks to my encouraging housemate and CANTAMUS)....though still shy a lot of times. (For this anime karaoke i for some reason was quite confident (coz i've been singing those songs for years?) and nobody was judging, so I basically didn't care about anyone and just enjoyed myself thoroughly =) )

So glad that I don't have midterms next week (though I have a paper technically due Monday and a GSW makeup assignment, and TWO midterms the week after). That allowed me to let loose for a bit.

But anyway gotta get back on track. That paper is important! 15% of my big grade! And gotta ace that two midterms next week too!

What else? I'm currently watching Lovely Complex and Haruhi Season 2. Like Lovely Complex very mcuh!

Oh and I left my cute popular hat that everybody recognizes on Pace 213 bus last last week =(

But then the bus driver told me she picked it up and put it at the Lost and Found when I got on the bus the following week =) Praise the Lord!

She said that if i couldn't go to Lost and Found, they can send it to me via a bus driver if i can tell them which bus i'm taking.

I called Lost and Found today and they didn't seem to understand.

So I'm debating whether to go to Lost and Found. I'd have to take a 30 minute bus ride........I would totally do it if I didn't have this paper due..... coz i really want that hat back....and God even gave me a chance to get back something that I thought was lost...

I should exercise more. Been eating too many snacks recently =(.

Oh, and I was quite happy with SEANite this year! Cilipadi rocks!

Happy Chap Goh Meh! (kindof over already whatever :P)

As a personal reminder

A quote that struck me when I was reading this:
http://www.rc.net/wcc/readings/dec22.htm

Do you seek the Lord Jesus and the power of his Holy Spirit so that you may be renewed in faith, hope, and love?


Yes, I do.
----

What should I get Jesus for His birthday?


I can't believe this is the first time in my whole life that I thought about Dec 25 not as "Christmas Day" but Jesus' birthday. Like a good friend's birthday. I always think about what to get for my friend for his/her birthday, but never actually for this guy Jesus. I was constantly thinking about what to get for my ex-ex-roommate when browsing around the shops in Little Tokyo just now. I guess it led me to realize it's really sad when most of us give each other gifts on Christmas but never/rarely give a thought to the actual VIP. I actually just realized the whole awkward situation just now. Can't believe it 20 years of my life and now only I realize. If i was the birthday boy I'd be feeling really really pitiful about myself.

So now I'm thinking - what should i get for Jesus this Christmas, for his birthday?

It must be something that will make Him happy, and something that I want to give, and also within my "budget"- i.e. something that is realistically possible for me to achieve.

Still thinking....hope I won't forget that it's His birthday, Dec 25th.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

How did I start thinking about the question above?

Ironically, it stemmed from the possibility of not going to Christmas Day mass/Christmas Vigil.

Today suddenly decided that we were going to Disneyland on Dec 25th. No problem I was planning to go to the earliest mass on Christmas Day, 7am (as written in bulletin). Ended up booking a shuttle (big cab) to Disneyland departing at 7am, bcoz Disneyland opens at 8am. I wasn't expecting we would go that early, so I hadn't told anyone I wanted to go to mass. And I didn't want to create trouble to change the shuttle schedule, or to get everyone behind long lines just because of one person. Or rather I didn't have the courage to disrupt the plans. I'd usually rather adjust my plans rather than trying to change the group plans. 

How about 24th, Christmas Vigil Mass? Well my ex-ex-roommate's church has a Christmas celebration and she's performing, and I'd really like to see her + i know she'll like me there + i really like her church too. It's in the evening/night, but the church is in another town and a church member would have to fetch us there, so the timing is less flexible. Ideally I'd like to go to St. Philip's (that's the Catholic church in Pasadena, very close to the apartment) for the Mass at 5pm, and then go to my ex-ex-roommate's church? Hopefully the timing can work out!

Back to the track: Yes, the possiblity of not being able to attend Christmas Mass made me realized how my mind had been stuck on how to celebrate "Christmas Day" and not how to celebrate the VIP's birthday. Mass is the least I had been doing - I never thought of doing anything else related to Christ, nowhere near anything for Jesus. Having that option taken away from me forced me to think about what else-> what little thing -> what better thing I can do for Jesus this Christmas?

(Also probably leading up from the advice the priest gave me during my confession - Think about What can I do for God)
-------

Had a pretty drawn out discussion over Christianity and its weakness/debatable points and what i wasn't sure about with my ex-ex-roommate. It was a very good session. I understood more perspectives.

-------
"Lord Jesus, help me to earnestly seek you with humility and confidence. Increase my faith in your promises, strengthen within me the hope of heaven and eternal life, and set my heart on fire with burning love for you and for your kingdom. May I always praise and magnify your great mercy."

I took out "and glory" from the end of the prayer (it's from the same website link at top), because currently I don't understand - and hence can't say I truly believe - in the term "glory". Wonder what He means by that?

In Memory of Auntie Y.

I received some shocking news yesterday. Never ever thought something like this could happen. A family friend, my mum's friend, was murdered in her own home in my hometown. Very sad and very shocked. How could this happen?

I remember this lady since young. Our families visit each other. I know all her children, her husband. My brothers were friends with her sons. She gave me angpau many times. She had been struggling with Parkinson's for many years now, and recently had an operation to help her cope with it. From what I know of her, she was a kind and friendly person. She must have been a good person, that's why my mum is friends with her. I don't understand why would anyone want to murder her, (or murder anybody for that matter).

Imagine if this were to happen to my family. I'd be shocked to death. Imagine what her children and family must feel. Imagine what his son felt when he saw his own mother dead in such a brutal way. It's horrible horrible horrible. Everyone I knew who passed away died quite peacefully, but poor poor Auntie Y. God please bring her soul into heaven and allow her soul to rest in peace.

And her murderer. Her maid is the main suspect. I honestly wish it was all a mistake and it was not a murder, because the murderer suffers as much from killing, perhaps even more.......I cannot imagine anyone killing another person directly....

May God console everyone who is hurt by this event and console the hearts of everyone who is grieving... May God grant peace to her soul and everyone affected.

****

Back from Madison, Wisconsin

A little emo...

Meeting INTI friends again after 1 year is amazing. Totally no awkwardness. Had even grew closer to some.
I guess it's because we haven't changed much since we last saw each other?
Perhaps time and distance takes away distance.
Maybe I'm a little less shy and a little more confident.
But I think I'm definitely less helpless than I used to be.

Do I feel differently towards INTI ppl? (sensitive issue - coz there are some INTI readers here ;))
Vast majority - no differently. A few even closer than before, unexpectedly, for example Karen, Shiau Shuang, Lew Jin, and Sik Hoe - I based this on the fact that we had more conversation than we ever had back at INTI). But there are some that i feel slightly more distant - it has nothing to do with how they treat me and such; it's more due to my personal expectations of them- so its my end of the problem not them.

Few drawbacks -  because of my underassertiveness, I missed the chance to visit some ppl I'd like ot have visited, e.g. Hae Ju, Jimmy. Also wanted to try riding Chin Wei's bike.

Madison itself is pretty nice. I like State Street and West Towne Mall. I like the Lakes (you can actually see the other side of the lake!! unlike a certain Lake Michigan =.=) It's really pretty. State Street is very much like my favorite type of street. (=Colorful interesting restaurants and little shops). Oh ya, we went to a super traditional mass at Holy Redeemer... traditional choir with sopranos and tenors and bass and pipe organ... I found interesting that the priest stood to the right of the altar instead of the center - which I really like, because then our focus is directed towards the center, where the crucifix and the Sacrament was placed (yup sacrament was also placed at the center). But I felt that the choir (sopranos esp. -.-) was too loud and detracted away from the mass. I visited St. Paul's Catholic Center and it seemed nice --- the chapel was in an underground like chamber with minimal decorations so I think they wanted it to resemble the underground catacombs in which early Christians had to hide and hold masses in. The music that was coming out from the music room sounded good, like Sheil's choir except with a larger and fuller choir :) The only drawback (yes i am comparing it to Sheil) is that the offices were empty...takde orang... :( Maybe there would be ppl closer to the mass time? Or maybe because it was thanksgiving... Anyway next time I'd like to go to St. Patrick's church (isn't it impressive that there are THREE catholic churches in Madison within walking distance of each other....not to mention a slew of other denomination churches.....).

Oh I think I've gotten better at looking good in photos.....long hair helps....cute hat helps....funny poses helps..... ;P

What else? this ocming week is my study week. Next week finals liao lo!

I actually have a lot to study........hmmmmmmm I gotta buck up starting tomorrow. My bio is in a sorry state, and I'm worried about Orgo 3rd midterm (synthesis T.T), and EPC is tattered to pieces ( I lost interest in EPC since the water issue....sigh....) Get back on track! I have to make it before ifnals.

Everybody (in college) has a lot to study too. So we must support each other!

I also feel that I'm very lucky in terms of living conditions. So lucky that JPA funded my first year's dorm lodging and meal plan (thanks NU for making it compulsory for 1st years to stay on campus), so I managed to buffer my transition to moving off campus. I feel that my friends have so much to deal with first year coming here. I hope that everyone will find their place in USA soon (and not suffer a "lonesome" 1st year as I did), make good wonderful and diverse friends (=not only Malaysian friends) as I have, and benefit from the great education and resources that US universities offer.

Same goes with friends in Malaysia and other countries. Find your place, make great friends, and appreciate and savor your education! It really is not all a torture. Learning is good.