Rainy Day...time for Reflection

Today was kind of like a day off from work (work refers to my research internship in Minnesota now), because it was raining and the ground is muddy so we couldn't do seedling searches (search for seedlings of tagged plants). Since I have more free time than usual, I think I should do my aforementioned

Spring Quarter Reflection

Jumping into Spring Quarter from a really physically active and somewhat emotionally tense Spring Break. I did daily bible reading/reflection everyday (or made it up with 2 readings if i missed one the day before) throughout Lent Season and until now. I also started writing notes to God, the majority of them being thank-you notes and petitions (not sure when I started). A few important events in Spring Quarter I think:

- EngageNU/MEIV (Multi-ethnic Intervarsity Christian Fellowship) and other IVCFs joint Large Group. [Christiany content] I went 2.1 times this quarter I think. At least 2.1 times. The first time (it might've been  Winter Quarter or just 1st week of Spring Quarter) was after having dinner with Esther at Hinman dining hall. I sat beside Esther. During LG, Andy Billhorn, one of the IV  asked for people who want to see God's transforming power in their lives (for those who are not Christians and for those who are already Christians to commit(? not sure liao) to stand up. My first thought was that it was one of those Protestant things that I always felt uncomfortable with, because I do take these things seriously, and I don't want to commit to something that I'm not fully commited to. So I remained sitting, thinking and deliberating, while most others stood up, including Esther. After much deliberation I decided that I do want to open myself to this power, and stood up. Okay, I know a lot of it is peer pressure, but I did make that conscious personal decision, even if it was on impulse, and I don't regret it. Even if nothing changed after that, I wouldn't think that I was an idiot who only follows the crowd (but I realize that I am easily convincable/flexible). In fact I didn't really expect anything to change. But guess what? There was change. I could feel God's transforming power in my life. It was not groundbreaking or a sudden epiphany, but a more subtle, permeating power...that I'm not sure what it is or how to describe...but it was gentle unforced change in worldview and attitudes... I'm not sure since when, but I no longer feel like "I Have To do this and that if not it'll show that I'm useless/not up to standard" - that sort of stress/pressure no longer permeates my life like it used to. Now it's more like (though not exactly and not all the time) "I want to do this or that, because I know it's the right thing to do; because I know it's something that I would appreciate others doing for me; because I can control what I choose to do about it". I actually want to keep reading the bible. I don't have to drag myself to it as I used to. The transforming power is not only that though, I think. It's not only about my faith, but it also involves my whole life.

Another LG. I mentioned it in a previous post- May 1) This time it involved a commitment to carry on the mission to make dead things come back to life. Did I talk about it already? This time I sat beside Christina du Breuil, and I had a conversation and prayed with her after LG...it was amazing to learn about how God speaks to her through images and how God is working in her life. I'm trying to be less afraid/embarassed/ and more public with what I believe...it is not easy and I don't know how to respond to people who are kind of anti-religion, like my Minnesotan housemates right now. I totally understand their sentiments about how religions can mess up societies and human behavior. But religion can sometimes bring out the best in people......as I have experienced... though I'm struggling with the "sometimes". If it's not "always", it would seem that one can do without religion.

April. Not the month, but my latest study buddy's name! She's Monica's roommate, Korean American. We are in two same classes, Bio 210 (3rd quarter introductory bio - cell bio and physiology) and Bio 347 (Conservation Bio with Prof Joe Walsh) I've been studying a lot with her in spring quarter. I first met her in fall, when had study party with Monica and other CCI gang (CCI is a dorm) - Ting, Jessina, girl whom I'm so sorry I can't recall her name right now. April is the first American I met who - likes to compete being humble.....you know la the usual "i haven't studied this yet" "me neither i also haven't studied that"....yup it's really irritating in Malaysia, but since i haven't had to put up with that for so long it's okay in small doses.  Of course she's studious (but not as extreme as Suk Sien or Ee Jane I hope), does things on time, really good at catching details (a lot of her questions are on things that I overlooked/take for granted), always smiling, and dresses really well (like elegant flowy blouses that models would wear). She's one of the few ppl I don't feel hesitant to ask to study together (i know my grammar is horrible but i don't have time so whatever). I enjoy studying with her. It's a good balance because we ask and answer each other's questions, so it's not one-sided one person teaches the other all the time. I hope we will become even better friends :)

"Relationship"
Ah it's almost 10pm so I can't do an individual paragraph for each individual that's been important now. Anyways, spring quarter has been great in terms of relationships. Mainly because I don't have to take orgo so I have more time to be sociable :P I also made more use of my phone to call people - like Esther, Fiona, Michelle Lau, Norman. Also texted more ppl (i can't believe i went over txt msg limit by 135(?) in May!). I think I strengthened a number of friendships this quarter. I initiated study dates a number of times. Spoke to people I met in library. Esther - she's so busy that I don't want to force a personal meetup every week, so instead i call her once a week on the phone, in addition to Allison Small Group (that's the SG Esther leads and I'm in). Allison Small Group- i don't feel as "belonging in" to SG as last year's, but I got to know a few new ppl better and some that I want to get to know better and hopefully next year get a chance to get to know better. Christina du Breuil - I had one lunch date, some study dates with her that I'm really glad I initiated. She's really fun to be with, and I want to continue getting to know her better. And glad that she'll be graduating in 2013! Michelle Lau - she came over to Evanston to visit (texted me the night before she came over lol). She is really dear to me and I love being with her. Brought her around campus, to Argyle, cooked kangkung belacan, brought her to end of LG to meet some of my other dear ppl, had late dinner at Mt Everest, and just talked.....Those two days were really fun and I'm so thankful that I didn't have tests/assignments due at that time. Tim Higgins, campus minister at Sheil - really grateful for him.....he's the person who would ask how I was doing and listened to my rants when I had a lot on my plate. Rung, my housemate. She's been crazily busy until middle of May because she's Tau Beta Pi (ENgineering Honors Society) treasurer, Thai Club co-president, MatSci Club president, and was also applying to Summer Undergrad Research Grant (and got it!).......and hence been sick/grumpy, not in the best of moods/complaining a lot (though she always apologizes for ranting). Thank God for the grace that I can accept all this and be as cheerful and helpful as I can, that she can accept me when it's my turn to get stressed out, and that I no longer feel the urge to raise my voice as I had felt in the fall. Because of Rung I got to know a lot of ppl better and more socially active/went to more social activities. I think that it's good though that we are living separately for the summer, and take a break from each other for a while, so that we won't be at each other's throats next year :P Also I became closer to NUSAF :) Alvin, XinKai, Scott, Kangyi, Heng Jie... Also random ppl I meet a lot like Christina Ha. Also discovered that I know a lot of ppl who just graduated that I'm gonna miss..........

"Leadership"
I think i became better at "coordinating" group work this quarter. GSW project group, BIO347 Conservation Bio group project initiating part, MEIV SG reunion organizing, Esther's birthday, Cilipadi events. The week before reading week and Reading Week (study leave before finals) and the few days after Finals were crazy. Had something on every single day! Midwest Games Fri-Mon morning, Tuesday was Esther's birthday eve and last SG hangout, Wednesday was cooking Malaysian meal for Christina du B and Will Weber coz they bought my service during MEIV service auction, Thursday was going to Treblemakers concert, MEIV Spring Celebration, and buying groceries for Cilipadi Senior Makan, Friday was Cilipadi Senior Makan which went from 5pm to almost 11pm exceeding my expected end time at 7pm, Saturday was Sheil Fest and NUSAF BBQ (should've also gone to MEIV Senior Dinner which was at the same time as the two.no actually earlier one hour but i didn't realize it >.<), Sunday was Allison SG photoshoot, Monday to Thursday was mostly studying I think, Thursday after Bio exam ended at 11am - a slew of business and meeting up with ppl...and packing and clearing my room >.<......Thursday evening visited Fiona at Kemper to get rice cooker and etc, Friday evening Cilipadi end of quarter dinner, helping Fiona and Christina Lee pindah barang, Saturday morning was Cedar send-off (sending off MEIV folks who are going to annual Cedar Camp, very happy to see everybody who was gonna graduate...like Helen Han, Kathryn Schodel, Jireh,... then brunch at Le Peep's with Cilipadi (might have been last time meeting Hafiz >.<), then packing packing packing, then dinner at Bravo! with Daisy (Daisy's bday), Jireh, Alvin, Tee Jin, Tong Wei (i'm so glad i emailed Daisy and Jireh saying that i want to have dinner with them). Then rush back to apt. Alvin and Tee Jin helped me to carry (Alvin was carrying/pulling the bag actually i dun get why he likes to help ppl carry barang so much need to ask him sometime) my big heavy luggage bag and walked me to Metra station only to find out that the next train was at 11pm, so rushed to CTA station (luckily nearby) so I could get to Chicago Union Station to catch my 10.30pm Megabus to Minnesota on time. Phew......so glad that I was on time though i got lost trying to find the bus stop (no signs one! aaa)..... and then it was very cold on the bus, and the ppl sitting in front of me were terribly inconsiderate and was watching some show with crashing and violent noises and i asked them quite politely to lower the volume TWICE but they still had to continue watching why can't they use earphones argh anyway it was too cold and I got toothache due to wisdom tooth so I couldn't sleep comfortably anyway. but i sat next to a nice lady so smile :) And reached Minnesota safely, got to bus stop and met team member Amber safely, and they treated me and Lee (another team member) so nicely, and then Stuart (professor)'s mum drove us to Kensington, reached Town Hall (where i'm staying now), groceries, dinner, sleep, next day Monday start internship...... so it was constantly on the move.............. geh...

21st Birthday
Yeah my 21st birthday landed on top of two papers and BIO midterm. Rung was sick and had to deal with Thai Night on May 15th but she still made an effort - toast with wine-flavored drink at midnight while i was writing my environmental autobiography >.< and made breakfast (sargent style omelette! and fruit/yoghurt salad and cheese cake that she craftily hid from me) for me....:) And then cilipadi's cake during our bonfire that weekend. 
I hope that before my college career is over I'll get a midnight surprise type with a larger crowd (hope i get to know enough ppl for that to become possible)...coz i rather like that you know, *hint winks* LOL. But I appreciate anything. I'm happy :) Oh yeah Esther owes me my belated birthday celebration still...I am so looking forward to that!

Phew it's almost 11pm so I gotta write off here. I'll post more on Team Echinacea and maybe post my project proposal when I finish that. So good night folks!