I can hardly believe what I've just been through in the past 13 hours. Nah, it's nothing fantastic, but here I am, typing my 100th blog entry in bed with my head on the pillow and laptop lying on its side.
I'm going to write in partially-reverse-chronological order and my writing is going to drive you nuts. You are forewarned.
Just now I might've fulfilled one of my little dreams, i.e. to lie down in a huge field of green grass and just gaze at the blue blue sky with some wind blowing in my hair.
5.55AM The sun had already risen (WTH is wrong with the weather/seasons) and I took a walk to the lakefront...gazing at the risen orange fireball in delight. Walked to a little grove (?)....green grass all over....trees with green leaves....blue sky...morning sun.....cool wind.........
凉爽的早晨，清新的空气，鸟儿不停地唧唧响。。。这么美丽的早晨，怎么没有人跟我一起分享呢？
I lay my bedsheet down on the grass , plopped my pillow, and lay down gazing at the sky framed by young green leaves of some trees...................it was very relaxing......arghhh i'm kind of sleepy now so i'm not getting anywhere trying to describe what i just experienced. will try to upload pics on facebook to show you guys how beautiful it was.
Various things passed through my mind. My inner voice went "注定了。。注定了~~~" as for what I'm referring to in my mind...i'll leave it for you guys to guess...coz it's very cheesy
I remembered the times when I experienced this calm and peace in natural settings... Sunrise on the river at home, LA Hot Springs, on Bukit Bendera, at the beach after camp... Nostalgia... And yet it wasn't totally peaceful...I felt some anxiety in my heart. Worry about my unfinished homework and whether I can finish it this weekend. And then I suddenly wanted to cry- I thought about it, and I decided to let it all out---
"好想回家！！！要回家！！我要回家！！芭比，妈咪～哇～～～～想回家！！要回家！！！”
After yelling and sobbing for a minute or two I felt better. The uneasy feeling in my heart/chest was dispersed. =) Then I continued lying on the grass and relaxing...sometimes saying a little prayer...singing a little...listening to the birds...taking photographs...looking at the sky, the trees, the sun, the grass...
I was so delighted to see real dew appearing before my eyes on the blades of grass. Cute, clear, pure dew drops! There's so many of them...
6.55AM went back to my dorm room. =)
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6-7PM (FRIDAY) Relay for Life at SPAC
Fundraisign event for American Cancer Society. People stay up all night and take turns to relay around jogging track in the gym (SPAC). I'm on Team Sheil. Our team altogether raised a total of $1397!!! I contributed $111. None of it was from my JPA allowance.
$21 was from Cilipadi!!! It was a pleasant surprise...I didn't expect that much... Earlier I asked Fiona that instead of a birthday cake/present, I'd like to receive donations for Relay for Life... and Cilipadi friends generously gave! Although $21 may not look like alot, in RM it's about RM100 already! That is a looooot! I'm proud of you Cilipadi! Thanks so much dear friends for your generosity...Cancer patients will benefit from your contribution
How about the rest? I had been saving up a sum of money from doing the Kellogg/Psych department paid research studies- ie going to Kellogg marketing department to do some surveys and getting paid- usually $5 for 15mins, or Psych department for psych studies. I had been plannign to use this money to buy a Northwestern sweatshirt, which is something that almost every NU student has, and I'd really like to have, but is pretty expensive (starting at about $39) so i never sanggup beli. Also I wanted to buy a coffee cup (with lid and maybe handle) because i had been creasting a lot of rubbish by using disposable styrofoam cups from dining halls. It was a struggle. Although team captain Luis reassured us that there is no minimum amount of donations we hhave to make, but i felt shameful because everybdoy else seemed to be contributing a lot, while i didn't really try to do anything (besides my birthday thing ^^;;). I had already planned to give $32, which is an amount I pledged from the Lenten 6-10 challenge ($32= 10% of my expenses during Lenten season), but then i thought, maybe i should give more. Perhaps i should give all the money i got from kellogg studies. i was struggling because i knew i didn't need to donate all and i indeed had been saving up the money since last quarter, vs. pride - i didn't want to seem like the worst fundraiser and my do-the-right-thing-concept i was trying to uphold. I was ashamed at my own hypocrisy. Thursday i realized i was holding back like the rich young man who wanted to follow Jesus, and Jesus said it was harder for a rich man ot enter the kingdom of heaven than for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle. I realized that, and that became the main driving force for me to donate my "earnings". And I believe that why I did what I did was not entirely to save face (partially, perhaps).
[And then I fell asleep after writing the previous sentence. The draft was autosaved at 8.05am, so make your own guesses]
During the event I realized something that made me happy... By donating that extra $58 to benefit cancer research, I was emulating my mother when she gave her share of inheritance (from my late aunt) to my uncle (who passed away earlier this year) who had been struck with cancer. Another uncle also gave his full share, and other uncles and aunts also gave part of their shares. It is really admirable...because the amount they gave up is really a huge huge sum. My uncle who had cancer really needed money though, because he had been laid off many years back and had been working various low-salary, part-time jobs such as driving buses. His wife is also ill and was only earning a meagre salary at a factory.
I am proud of my mother =)
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Anyway, I was staying up from 6pm yesterday to 6am today for Relay for Life. What is Relay for Life? Check out their official description here: http://www.relayforlife.org/relay/whatisrelay
I did take naps though, but I did walk around the track for a good amount of time. Staying up all night for some event is always an interesting experience. The last time I did that was for the Lenten event last year with INTI CSS people. This time i spent the night/morning with 600-800 NU students in the basketball courts of SPAC, with people playing frisbee all over each other, playing games, eating snacks, and jumping in the wonderful inflatable trampoline house. Around dinnertime I walked around with Esha, was surprised by Esha's ability to talk to anybody as if she had known them her whole life...it was so natural (and she takes her time in talking to, if that reminds you of anybody ^^;; [bukan saya]), and was pleasantly surprised when we met out MATH 230 lecturer Prof. Yildirim (she's so cute). She said she was planning to leave Northwestern, partly because of the horrible weather, going to India for vacation (Esha was going to India with her family too during summer) and Yildirim's young daughter- Esha even asked her name and it was Aysu, which approximately means the beauty of the reflection of the moon in the water in Turkish.
Blablabla. My team captain was Luis, a very funny and friendly bear-sized Hispanic guy. Chris, a senior in Mech.E. from AAIV. and ChanHan, a Korean guy who goes to AAIV and MEIV (he performs with H.I.S., the MEIV acapella group). Joe, a very friendly junior who always wears this cute smiley badge pin on his shirt and looks just like the smiley face. Sarah, a Mech.E. senior. Janelle, a sophomore, who survived cancer in senior year of high school.
Bleb.
Sunset and sunrise over the lake was absolutely beautiful.....this will motivate me to wake up earlier to see sunrise at NU...=)
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Let's skip my birthday story for now, because I have a paper due Tuesday, a paper rewrite that I should finish asap, Lab report due monday, chemistry reading that i should do, stats problem set that i should start... LAB CONSULTANT APPLICATION WTH. And some other extracurricular stuff (draft that permission slip for SALCO, reply to Louie to accept position as GSW tutor for next year, buying furniture, email Min Sze, reply Chuey Sien's email)
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Happy Belated Mother's Day. Thank you Mami for giving birth to me and taking care of me until now. I am 20 years old now. That is miraculous.
My mum's "very determined" attitude is rubbing off me. If you think I'm determined, it's thanks to my mami =) I thank my mother for many good things in my life.
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